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User blog:InkSpider/Madoka Kaname vs. Lucy Diclonius
Introduction Spiderp: Hax is a very popular kind of waifu. Derpixie: The only thing better than hax waifus is hax waifus with pink hair. Spiderp: Like Maderpa Konami, Death Battle Fanon Wiki’s Waifu. Derpixie: And Loosey Derpclonius, the bitch who keeps winning InkSpider’s fights. Spiderp: I’m Spiderp. Derpixie: And I’m a huge idiot! Spiderp: And it’s our job to examine teh hax to find out who would win a Derp Berttle. Maderpa Spiderp: Once upon a time in the land of the pedo-waifus, there was a pedo-waifu who was more flat-chested and hax than any others. Her name was Maderpa Konami. Derpixie: Maderpa was made up by Konami to save their company by appealing to pedos and making them buy their games. But their company failed anyways because their mascot Bubsy the Bobcat was murdered by Segata Sanshiro. Spiderp: Maderpa’s tiny loli body is made entirely out of hax. This gives her a variety of hax techniques, such as the Hax Arrow, the Universe Reset and the Inappropriately Sexualized Opening Credits Sequence. Derpixie: Maderpa can even fire her Hax Arrows into the sky to make a Rain of Hax! That would be really great for improving agriculture and solving world hunger if it were raining rain instead of hax. Spiderp: Maderpa has accomplished a great number of hax feats. She has seduced the entirety of the Death Battle Fanon Wiki, survived being eaten by Godzilla, and beat Super Saiyan God Goku at Monopoly over fifteen billion times. Derpixie: Maderpa is one hax waifu! from Meduka Meguka. Meduka: Rabu, Hameru. Rabu. Loosey Spiderp: Loosey Derpclonius became the queen of all the Derpclonius after violently disemboweling her predesseor, Yuno Gassai. Derpixie: Queen of the Derpclonius? They should call her the Mean of the Derpclonius, because she’s really mean and also a bitch! Spiderp: Loosey’s main weapon is her Hax Arms, a series of arms made out of pure hax. The hax arms can extend a distance that has no limits, and are so hax that she hax her enemies into tiny little pieces. Derpixie: Loosey’s other weapons are Ballpoint Pens, Bloody Boobs, and Being a Bitch. Spiderp: Loosey’s feats include Being a Bitch, Killing a Bunch of People, and Being an Unbelievably Huge Bitch. Derpixie: Loosey is teh most hax and bitchy bitch to ever give serial killers boners! from teh Internet plays. Phillip J. Fry: Not sure if Elfen told the Truth, or if Elfen Lied. Lucy: No. decapitates Fry. DERP BERTTLE! Spiderp: Alright, our waifus are set. Let’s put an end to this shit once and for all. Derpixie: It’s term fer er DERP BERTTLE! * * * Maderpa is awkwardly walking down the street while keeping her legs extremely straight. She spots Loosey standing at a bus-stop scowling like a huge bitch. “What’s wrong?” Maderpa asks. “Fuk yoo, Maderpa,” Loosey replies. FIGHT! ' '''Maderpa shoots a Hax Arrow at Loosey, but Loosey deflects the arrow with her Hax Arms, and then cuts off Maderpa’s head. '''K.O!' ' '''Loosey laughs evilly and then kicks Maderpa’s head into outer space, where it is sucked into a black hole.' ''' Post-Berttle Analisis Derpixie: Now that is what I call a Derp Berttle! Spiderp: Obviously this battle was a huge curb-stomp. While Maderpa is made of hax, her tiny loli body is too tiny and lowly to match the hax of Loosey’s Hax Arms, which can extend to infinity. Also Maderpa wasn’t as big as bitch as Loosey, and didn’t have any boobs. Derpixie: Maderpa got the ever-loving fuck killed out of her! Spiderp: The winner is Loosey Derpclonius. a huge pink laser blasts through the ceiling, and Pixie flies into the studio wearing a magical girl outfit. Spider drops in through the ceiling and shoots Spiderp and Derpixie with her Teleport Ray, once against banishing them to Derpmammu’s Derp Dimmension. Pixie sweating: Oh God. They didn’t broadcast that yet, did they? Spider the computer screens: No. They weren’t doing a live broadcast, and we caught them just as they were finishing recording. Looks like we got here just in time. Pixie: Wow, that was close. If they’d released that, our reputation would be completely ruined. Spider: I just don’t understand how they escaped again. Pixie: Better not worry about it for now. Hopefully we can come up with a more permanent solution next time. Spider: I hope so… Disclaimer *If you somehow haven't figured it out by now, this is a Joke Battle. *This battle is not in any way meant to disrepect or otherwise degrade either of the featured waifus. *Further, this battle is not meant as an attack on anyone on the wiki. *I apologize for nothing. Category:Blog posts